


all my loves are hidden in pieces

by three_things_sid



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: Coming of Age, F/M, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Multi, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 11:17:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2227062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/three_things_sid/pseuds/three_things_sid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm not ready for this", Tony tells Michelle, and knows it's both the truth and a lie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all my loves are hidden in pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [calisthenicswithwords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/calisthenicswithwords/gifts).



> For the prompt: Future fic about their post-series exploits.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy!

 

_all my loves are_  
_hidden in pieces_  
_all my loves are_  
_within a wild night_

isis – the yeah yeah yeahs ([x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Anf-Z0sajtA))

 

* * *

 

 

**1\. Tony**

 

" _I'm not ready for this_ ", Tony tells Michelle, and knows it's both the truth and a lie.

 

Because a part of him is quite ready to move on, preferably someplace people don't remember the accident and what came after. _That's the boy who got hit by that bus, isn't it?_ and _They say he's gone mental._   _What a shame._  No, he won't miss the whispers and the prying looks that follow him around. Nor the pity in their eyes. Fucking wankers. But the thing is, he also doesn't want to say goodbye to anyone ever again. Not after he _just_ got everything back. Not after Chris and Cass, and now even Sid.

 

He thinks Michelle gets it though. She fucks him, one last time, right there in Sid's dad's former car. His seat pushed as far back as possible, but it's still awkward and not entirely comfortable. The clasp of the seatbelt presses against his hipbone when he moves and he's sure the steering wheel is digging into her back. She's lost her top, her skirt is shoved up and she opens his trousers as he helps her remove her knickers. Her nails dig into his back, when he enters her, leaving angry red marks behind, and everything's rougher and more desperate than it used to be.

 

He's pretty sure Michelle is crying when she comes, and his breath is strangely chocked too, so he just holds her for a moment. Her head resting against his chest, her face tucked into the crook of his neck, he can feel her heart beat. Somehow this is more intimate than the sex they just had. He's not sure what to make of that.

 

After, he drives her home. She smiles at him, even though her eyes are still wet, when she tells him, " _Goodbye, Tony._ " She kisses his cheek, before she climbs out of the car and then she's gone.

 

 

**2\. Jal**

 

There are a few seconds every morning, right after she wakes up, when she forgets. When she wakes up and thinks her dad will knock on the door any second to wake her and that her phone will buzz with the _good morning, can't wait to see you_ text Chris sends her every day. But then she notices that the walls of her room aren't white but yellow, that the window's on the wrong side, and that there is no crapy music coming from Ace and Lynton's rooms across the hall. And then, for a moment she can't breath. But then the moment passes and she gets out of bed and showers, she brushes her teeth and gets dressed, and goes to class and plays the clarinet because that's what she's supposed to do.

 

Michelle calls her all the time, to make sure she's okay. It's endearing and slightly annoying at the same time. But in the end, she's mostly glad, because while the people here are all pretty nice she can't really talk to them. It's just too difficult, too painful, to explain what Chris was to her, what he meant to her. Michelle already knows, so she doesn't have to make any sense when she talks (and doesn't talk) about him.

 

She doesn't pick up the phone when her father calls. Her mother hasn't tried to contact her again after that afternoon, and she's grateful for that. She still talks to Ace and Lynton, and they come around all the time, and that's all the family she needs right now.

 

 

**3\. Tony (again)**

 

Cardiff is different than he expected, because it's essentially just like Roundview. The stakes might be higher, but the game is still the same. There are classes to take, friends to make and plenty of hot girls willing to fuck him. The girl three doors down, the one with the blue hair and bright red lipstick, sells pretty great weed. Old Tony would've loved Cardiff.

 

He's not exactly sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line Tony starts to separate his life into three parts: There was  _Old Tony_ , with all his games and schemes, who was always, always in control and had confidence enough for ten people. Then there was _somewhere-in-between-Tony_ , who didn't know how to tie his shoes and couldn't remember if he loved Michelle or not and who needed to carry a note with his address in his pocket wherever he went in case he forgot. And then there is _New Tony_ , who has to work twice as hard as Old Tony ever did, who knows how to hold a cigarette and aced his fucking A levels. Who still dreams of breaks screeching and sirens and a bus that never ever stops. New Tony is mostly tired.

 

He calls Sid once, in a wave of nostalgia right after orientation, but a guy named Rajesh answers and tells him he bought the phone from a skinny white kid in exchange for 30 bucks and a subway ticket. Tony just sighs and rolls his eyes, sounds about right.

 

His roommate, Dave wears glasses and sometimes even a beanie, but he also really digs politics and goes running every morning. If Tony calls him Sid every once in a while it's only out of habit, not because he misses the little fucker like hell.

 

 

**4\. Michelle**

 

She calls Jal every single day for the first two weeks at York. She knows Jal think's it's because she's afraid the other girl will drown in her grief and schoolwork, but that's only a part of it. The truth is, she just really misses her best friend. 

 

York is great, but it's also lonely. Michelle's been so used to having tight knit group of friends that she's known forever, that she's forgotten how long it takes to actually really get to know someone. She hasn't heard from Cassie, and she doesn't expect to, but she still misses her. And Sid too. Maxxie calls every once in a while and Anwar sends them all hilarious videos or funny pictures from time to time, but it's not the same as seeing them everyday. She's not sure if she should call Tony or not, because you're not supposed to stay in touch with your exes, right? A clean cut is the best, at least that's what all the magazines say.

 

There are good changes too, though. She's not just a pretty face here. (Which, of course, doesn't mean her face isn't still completely gorgeous.) But she actually loves most of her classes, and there is something really satisfying about exceeding everyone's expectations. Most of all her owns. (Jal would be proud.)

 

There's a boy in her French course, Matthew, he's a little bit shy but also really smart, and she doesn't hesitate to say yes when he asks her if she wants to get coffee with him after class. He doesn't make her heart race, but he doesn't make it ache either and he actually listens when she talks and it's not love yet, but it's nice.

  

 

**5\. Jal (again)**

 

She gets a postcard every now and then. There's never a message on them, just her address, but that's okay. She wouldn't even need the pictures on the front to know from whom they are. There's one with the Brooklyn Bridge on it, one with a yellow cab, then she gets one of a couple kissing in Time Square, and the most recent one shows the harbour and loads of colourful boats. She puts it next to the others, which are already plastered all over her fridge. (They make the flat seems less lonely.)

 

She remembers Cass telling them once, “ _I like boats. They go places_.” And for a moment, she feels a wave of anger mixed with jealousy washing over her. But then that's gone and all that's left is affection and a little bit of sadness.

 

Because Jal has long ago accepted that she isn't the type of person who runs away or takes off when things get complicated. She's the one who welcomes the ones who do back again, when they're done, when they're ready to come home. She's responsible and stable and that's not a bad thing.

She still remembers to say _yes_ instead of _no_ every once in a while though.  Like, one day, she buys three fish. Tiny, bright orange things, that make her smile whenever she looks at them. She puts the aquarium on the dresser next to her bed and it makes waking up a little easier.

 

 

**6\. Michelle (again)**

 

Tony calls her, once, and she's pretty sure he's drunk because his words are slightly slurred and he doesn't make a lot of sense.

 

He tells her that Rajesh is just as bad at giving advice as Sid, and something about Effy and a bad trip and he sounds genuinely scared and for a second she feels like it's two years ago. 

 

But then she pulls herself together, because it's not. She's changed, and so has Tony. So she calms him down and cheers him up as best as she can and before he hangs up, he tells her “ _I miss you, Nips_.” It sounds so earnest that she doesn't even object to the nickname, just tells him, “ _I miss you too, Tone._ ”

 

There's a text the next morning:  _Sorry about being a mess last night. Thanks & I owe you. _They stay in touch after that. Because Tony's always been much more than just an ex (for better or worse). And they're friends too, and friends call each other when something fucked up happens.  

 

 

**7\. Anwar and Maxxie (and James)**

 

They rent the crappiest, tiniest little flat in London. It's on the 7th floor of some run-down building without a lift, the hot water doesn't always work and the old Lady next door scares Anwar a little, but Maxxie just says, “ _It's got potential_ ,” with this big grin on his face that makes James kiss him and Anwar roll his eyes but agree.

 

Maxxie joins two dance groups and goes to auditions (and sometimes even gets the part) and James gets an internship with an advertising firm. He mostly delivers mail and takes phone calls, but it's a start, he says. Anwar gets a job as a waiter at the little Café down the street, because he still has no idea what the fuck he's supposed to do. He gets to take some food home at night and the other waitress, Beth, a blonde girl with curly hair and lots of freckles is sweet and funny and even laughs at his stupid jokes, so all in all it's not a bad deal.

 

" _I miss the others_ ," Maxxie says one night, while he's rolling a joint. (He still thinks about Chris every time he does it, and it makes him smile but also stings.)  " _Me too_ ," Anwar signs, and plops down next to him on the couch. It's James' night to cook, so they're both just watching him rummaging through their kitchen while drinking beer and smoking up. 

 

 " _So invite them over_ ," James suggests, like it's that simple. And Maxxie has to admit, he has a point. Not all of them, obviously, because Sid and Cass are still MIA and poor Chris is gone, but the rest.

 

"Yeah, w _e totally should. Right, An_?" His face lights up just thinking about it.

 

And if Maxxie gets exited so does Anwar, it's always been like that. " _They're all on Christmas break in a few weeks anyway",_ he reasons. _"Who wouldn't want to spend Christmas is London?_ "

 

_"Exactly!"_ Maxxie smiles at him _. "I bet Bristol has been fucking dull since we all left, anyway._ "

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know that Cassie and Sid are barely in this, that's because I really love that we don't know if they found each other. That ambiguity is what I ladore the most about the finale and the first generation, and I didn't want to screw with that.
> 
> I'm [on tumblr](http://three-things-sid.tumblr.com/) now, in case you want to say hi.


End file.
